You just can’t beat the great stuff at www.engrish.com , but I did find this awesome specimen while shopping at the “Chinese Dollar Store”, a.k.a. 99 City, in Amherst, New York.

I was excited to get this little flower dashboard thingy. If you haven’t seen one yet, they bounce up and down happily in the sunshine. (solar powered).

The package contains many helpful tips for operation of the little flower. They read as follows:

1.)In order not course the danger of asphyxial, please do no put the spare parts into the mouth.

2.) In order not course the danger of swallowing, forbidden to give the toy not playing to the Children who are not enough 3 years old.

3.) In order not course the danger asphyxial, please do not cover the plastic bag on the head or face.

4.)In order to avoid accident, please safekeeping the toy that make sure who are not enough 3 years old not reach the toy.

5.) Please do not shake and haul the toy.

6.) Please do not use the sun energy battery tough and don’t throw it away.

Outside the rain is gently falling- the first time in years we’ve had a green Christmas! (and I am grateful for it.) The house is warm and the tree is blinking- the smell of ham is filling up the air- calling to my belly. The children have gone out of state for the holidays this year so Iris and I are home alone with the fuzzie children. Consider it empty nest practice.

Our empty nest practice for Christmas went well. For the first time in many years, we celebrated Christmas Eve with friends by going to Betty J and Betty L’s house. I brought the movie Elf, (which they had never seen), and they made a dinner of ham, german potato salad, rye bread and cole slaw. It was delicious! I made friends with one of their cats by giving into her pleas for a little bite of ham every 30 seconds. We exchanged simple gifts and enjoyed either Egg Nog or Mocha Kahlua. Everyone loved Elf! It was a big hit- and I’m glad because that is my favorite Christmas movie made since 1970.

Iris and I found our way home slowly on Christmas Eve night- watching as all the streets began to empty as people found their way to their homes to settle in and wait for Santa Claus. We spotted the Jolly Old Elf in Amherst on Sheridan Drive! I stopped and took his photo. I asked him what he was up to and he explained that as he went down a chimney of a very respected gastroenterologist in Amherst, he accidentally broke his wished for tennis racquet. He had to run out to Dick’s Sporting Goods on his magic motorcycle, (he couldn’t bring the whole sleigh and reindeer- there was just no parking with all the Canadians at Boulevard Mall). Anyway, crisis averted- Santa got the exact same model and took it to the GI doctor’s house very carefully!


As we went home, we listened to Christmas carols on the radio and sang along. Iris has a beautiful singing voice. We looked at all the Christmas lights and reminisced about how we’d take the kids out to see Christmas lights on Christmas Eve. They used to really love it. Then they got big and one of them said, “I really don’t want to be stuck in a car driving around just to see crappy lights stapled to people’s houses!”. hahhahaha….. Now Iris and I can drive around in peace and sing just as loud as we want.

We came home and hurriedly wrapped presents. We were almost too excited to sleep. Well, Iris was too excited to sleep. I put my headphones on in bed and listened to Coast to Coast AM and gently dozed off. I was woken by Iris standing at the foot of the bed at 2:15 yelling, “Poppy! Poppy! Santa came! Santa came!” She was holding a bunch of presents. It was wonderful! She jumped in bed with all the presents. Sitting in bed with all 5 doggies, and a pile of comforters, we opened up all of our presents right then and there! I got a weather station, which I always wanted!!!


Iris got a miracle present. She had been wishing all year that she could buy chocolate covered cherries without the cherries- and SHE GOT THEM!!! It turns out that Hershey’s had made these wonderful Cherry Cordial Kisses with the creme in the middle but not the cherry! Iris is so excited- I think this present eclipsed all the other ones!


I piled up all my gifts next to the bed and we fell back asleep. I was too excited to fall asleep for a long time, trying to figure out where I can place my new wind speed indicator.

We woke up and because we were having our own Christmas, I could do whatever I wanted and so I brushed my hair and my teeth, put on my new jewelry and my new pajamas, wore my new slippers and that was my outfit for the whole day!

This evening we will dine on ham and watch Christmas Vacation and the Christmas Story.

Merry Christmas Everyone from Iris and Poppy!