We are off on our road trip. We can’t decide if we should camp, stay in a hotel or stay with my family. We decided to be spontaneous heading out with only a rented SUV and our bank card. Did I mention I was thrilled to be going back to Ohio for a vacation?

We drop our son off at camp and decide to drive over to Cowan Lake State Park. We had seen a few cicadas at the camp and I remembered it was the “year of the cicadas”, but the ones we saw were mostly sitting still. I grew up in Ohio so I was somewhat familiar with cicadas. Most of the locals call them locusts, but they aren’t related. We get to Cowan Lake and the cicadas are everywhere. They are flying all around, landing on us, falling out of the trees. I am telling Poppy these things are harmless and trying to be the calm rational one, but by now Poppy is really freaking out. Since Poppy is freaking out I start to get a little freaked too. We run back to the car. Okay, tent camping is definitely out of the question now. We have been conquered by a small (well not so small) flying insect.

We make a decision. If we don’t want to spend the rest of our vacation in the SUV we must make peace with the cicadas. With our new attitude of peace we stopped to have lunch. We picked a nice picnic spot with a flock of geese. At first we were very quiet and the geese did not seem to mind us at all. Evidently they had eaten most of the cicadas so this area was pretty safe. It was very peaceful by the lake with the occasional honk from the geese.

Next we headed to the campgrounds for a shower. We were all rested and peaceful, until we saw the sign by the bath house. “Alert! Cicada Killer Wasp”. I thought it was a wasp that kills cicadas, Poppy thought the cicadas were really killer wasps. We debated back and forth for a while. I had always been told cicadas were harmless. They don’t bite, sting, or try to hurt humans in any way. Poppy was convinced we had been surrounded by giant killer wasps. I became unsure, and yes I am afraid of wasps. We ran back to the SUV through the cloud of cicadas.

In our state of panic we couldn’t find our way out of the campgrounds nor could we roll down the windows to ask directions. We had become trapped by our own minds! After about 15 minutes we blundered into the park office. We needed to find out the truth. Benign cicadas or killer wasps. Of course by the time we ran breathless into the ranger office everyone thought we were crazy. Cicadas are harmless and there is a cicada killer wasp. Two different animals. Now we can get back to peace with the cicadas.

On the first day of our vacation, Iris and I were stumbling around the Ohio countryside near Cowan Lake State Park. We had read that this state park has excellent fossil hunting and a large colony of water flowers so we really wanted to see it. We found a great place to cook out and watch the lake.

While driving around the area, we came to a little hamlet called “Cuba, Ohio”. I took a photo of the post office because it was so cute and because of the interesting name. I think the post office and the Society of Friends Meeting Hall are the only buildings in the town.

As we came around an intersection, I spotted a small white sign on a wire frame that said, “LAVENDER FARM HAND PICK”. I made Iris stop the car!

We tried following the signs but got very confused. A sheriff was sitting in the Friend’s Church parking lot watching us go back and forth and I was afraid he’d arrest us for being from out of state. After a few failed attempts to find the farm, we gave up and promised to come back later in the week.

Well, we actually lived up to that promise and on our last day devoted the morning to finding the farm. We tried the signs again, but wound up in a big circle. I decided to stop at the Cuba, Ohio post office to ask for directions. I was afraid to go in. I had such bad experience with people in Ohio being rude to me.

I went into the post office and met the most wonderful lady! First of all, it appears she single-handedly runs the post office. There is a bank of like 30 post office boxes and one counter. She greeted me so warmly with a soft southern accent! I told her I was looking for the U-Pick Lavender farm and she knew immediately where it was. hahaha! She even told me that she’d been meaning to get her grandkids out there this year but hadn’t done it yet. She said she heard that last week the lavendar was in full bloom so she better hurry and I picked the perfect time to visit!

The lady was so nice she even looked up the actual street address of the farm and wrote it down for me along with a hand-drawn map! She then gave me a great tip: there is a covered bridge just down the road from the farm! How did she know I love architecture so much??? Wait a minute… I bet everyone with NY plates loves the covered bridge! hahahaah…

So, we actually found the Lavender Farm and it was so much better than I imagined! This is a family owned business. We drove down a lane to a barn and were greeted by a lovely young lady age 5, who was handing out business cards. “Peaceful Acres Lavender Farm” the card read. It added, “Earthship and Wellness Center”.

This place was peaceful and beautiful. Kym, the proprietress is not only a farmer, but knowledgeable aromatherapist and reflexologist! I can’t beleive this oasis we found in the middle of rural Ohio!

After a free lavender lesson and tour of her studio and clinic, Kym escorted Iris and I to the lavendar fields. We spent such a beautiful and peaceful time in the field. The gentle smell of lavender made time go slowly and we stopped to watch the furry bumble bees working on the plants, and the little clunks of grasshoppers going from row to row.

Birds were singing and a soft breeze came across the fields. Kym worked in her barn, with her three small kids by her side. I cannot recommend this business enough!

You don’t have to drive to southern Ohio to take advantage of Peaceful Acres. You can visit their website and review the products available by mail order from her studio. I personally fell in love with the soaps.

Visit Kym at her website, Peaceful Acres Lavender Farm.

Coming Soon: some quick little photos of the covered bridge we found just down the road!

Iris just got done designating Ohio as hell on Earth. However, our son was raised there most of his life and is attached to a very excellent camp in Ohio that he goes to every year.

We decided that instead of just taking him there and driving back home, then returning for the long drive at the end of the week: we just stayed and had vacation!

Most of these decisions were governed by the fact that gas prices are ridiculous and that Iris and I desperately needed to get away from home. Also… Ohio has an excellent state park system that doesn’t charge you to park or get in the way New York does.

That is where the logical thinking sort of stopped. Not wanting to drag our tent out of the basement we started looking for a cheap hotel in the area. We tried those websites where you sort of bid for your room. Well, the cheapest we found was an $87/night hotel in a little town that has nothing in it! What the hell? How is this a bargain?

Having lost our sense of reason, we euphorically decided to buck the whole system and camp in the SUV. That’s right! We are paying enough for it- we should use it for a camper as well!

We decided we would spend the week like hippies and go Wal-Mart Camping.

We fixed up the back of the SUV like a 1970’s station wagon going to the drive-in. The back seats were put down and we laid down comforters and pillows.

We lined up some good friends to watch the petting zoo and headed down the road with all the excitement and foolishness of a couple of eighteen-year-olds. It was great!

I am not very fish savvy. I am more of a dog person than anything else. Poppy and I are at the pet store. Iris- “Hey Poppy isn’t that the same kind of fish we are babysitting for the summer?” Poppy- “Yeah, sure is.” Iris- “Wow, look at the small bowls they’re in.” Store clerk- “Those are beta fish, one of the easiest fish to care for.” Iris- Looking sideways at Poppy. Sticker on side of bowl- “Easy care instructions (two short paragraphs). Change water once a month. Feed two to three beta pellets daily, may go up to five days between feedings.” Iris- Eyes wide in disbelief.

This does not resemble the three pages of care instructions we have at home. To begin with our fish has a large filtered, lighted, heated tank. We have been lugging our fish back and forth to college for a year. Our fish requires weekly cleaning, vacuuming, several different pitchers of treated water, aloe drops for soft silky fins, daily feeding at set times, alternate times if the fish doesn’t eat the pellets at the first set times, specific hours of light, and companionship for at least 15 minutes every day.

Next summer while babysitting this fish will be in one of those little bowls just like in the pet store.

I am so ready to flee back to New York. As I am playing with the radio trying to find something decent for the ride home I discover this rental car has Sirius Satelite Radio.Thank God. No more fire and brimstone, country/bluegrass, or fading channels. I admit it, I am still stuck in the eighties. I am ready to crank it up and jam the whole way home. The ride home was great! I kept switching back and forth between the 70s and 80s. Brought back a lot of memories. Drag shows, disco contests, punk haircuts, lots of partying, and the days before AIDS. AC/DC just happened to be roaring “Back in Black” when I hit the New York state line. It was so good to be back to New York. When I hit the tolls I was really jamming to Journey. The toll lady was sooo New York “Hey baby, have a great weekend!”. I pulled up honking in front of my house. Poppy ran outside as I was shouting “I love New York”, we danced and kissed right in the street, the neighbors cheered, and I knew I was really home right where I belong!

I drew this image of Iris today. We were in the car waiting for beef lo mein (ten minute). I pulled the napkin out of the glove compartment and drew this, without lifting the pen and without looking at the drawing as I was doing it.

It’s an amazing work of art!

Today we went looking for yard sales- (no luck). We drove to Hyde Park in Niagara Falls and watched the ducks who live around Duck Island.

We rented Dan In Real Life and picked up some chinese food and went home for a rainy afternoon. When Iris found out that nobody dies in Dan in Real Life, there are no aliens, it does not contain Sharon Stone nor Ashley Judd, there is no epidemic, all body parts remain intact and the world does not end, she wasn’t interested. She fell asleep on the couch as I watched the movie.

Ah, this Bohemian Lesbian Lifestyle that we lead!

By the way, I will give away this artwork on napkin to the first person who actually leaves a comment on our website, (and wants the prize!)

Yay! It’s a CONTEST!

First let me clarify: I grew up in the Polish neighborhood. Okay? Buffalo/Cheektowaga. Cheektovegas. Pink Flamingos. The Polish know how to keep a meticulously overdecorated lawn. And I LOVE IT.

However, these photos were snapped in downtown Niagara Falls, and I would just bet from my powers of anthropological deduction that this may be the home of an Italian falmily. My Western New York anthropological experience tells me that this tends to be Italian style versus Polish style. Well, enough of this scholarly talk. Here are the photos:

What a living piece of shit Eveready batteries are! I could use them to take two photos in my digital camera and that’s all. I can use Duracell for about 100 photos in the same camera. And still have energy left to scroll back through my photos.
These batteries were purchased at Dollar Tree for $1. Duracell batteries would cost about $5. They say you get what you pay for but I think I overpaid for these piece of shit Eveready batteries. Don’t waste your time or money.
By the way, is anybody reading this goddamn blog yet????

So, here I am in Ohio. I am all sleep deprived and have only eaten about 6 bottles of frappachino (oh yeah I’m a health nut! I just love the stuff.). I am not sure what I am headed into at this viewing. My friend who passed away has been out of the closet for years. His whole extended family are way far to the right apostalic fundamentalist christians. Yes there are different degrees of fundamentalism. I grew up in a middle of the road household, board games and card playing were ok, but no gambling, drinking alcohol was strictly forbidden and I wasn’t allowed to eat at the local Pizza Hut because they served alcohol. My grandmother’s church on the other hand did not believe in watching television, playing with a deck of cards, wearing pants, or cutting your hair. Either way just about anything fun was considered a sin. I was pleasantly surprised to see the obituary listed my friend as being survived by his partner, because I knew a family debate had raged over whether to use partner or close friend. We had been friends for over 35 years and his family really treated me like one of their own.

Several of the pack of lesbians I used to run with came to the viewing. It was really good to see everyone I grew up with. It had been years since I had talked to anyone and eventually conversation rolled around to relationships. Well, no one is in a relationship anymore because they “got religion”. Got religion? Of course they are not straight and fundamentalism forbids lesbian relationships, so everyone is now celibate and alone. Okay. I suppose you could say I “got religion”. I go to church most Sundays, hell I’ve even given a sermon or two. Our congregation is very LGBT friendly and keep telling Poppy and I how much they are looking forward to having our wedding. Several members (straight) have attended gay marriage rallies to support equality of all people. I just can’t understand why anyone would be comfortable repressing themselves in this fashion. Personally I think maybe it would be a better idea to “get therapy” for dysfunctional behavior rather than religion, but thats just me. Maybe this explains the heavy use of anti-depressants in this region. I know I took my share when I lived here.

Now for my pet peeve. A few people expressed concern about the economy and the way the republicans are handling things. They would really like to vote for a democrat this election, but are uncomfortable with Obama being a Muslim and all. Wait, back up, Obama a muslim? Don’t they watch CNN? I’m sure FOX did some coverage of the Obama flap with Rev. Wright. How could Obama be a Muslim if he has been a member of a christian church for twenty years? Obama is not a Muslim. Computers and technology are a wonderul thing. Just keep in mind they are only as smart as the people who operate them. I love getting these alarmist e-mails just so I can debunk them and forward the real links to all the lemmings.

At this point in my Ohio trip I am so ready to come home!

My baby is growing up. My little Baby Bear. Just a few days ago he was wrapped in a soft little blanket pressed up against my chest. Just a few hours ago he was gleefully walking in a clumsy way, cackling and laughing at his new mobility. A few minutes ago he was up to my waist and had the cutest little cheeks and softest baby hair and I snuggled him on the couch, reading him stories like “Are You My Mother?” and “In a People House”.

This week I bought him an electric shaver. How. Surreal. A shaver.

(dramatic pause)

I had to ask like 5 men how they shave their face. I didn’t want my son to have a razor blade quite yet. I had to look up online any instructions and tips. I had to read the instruction packet.

My son helped me open the packaging. He examined the shaver. He sort of looked at it like it was dangerous. I read the instruction book. I showed him the “tips”. He read them intently, very seriously. He was very studious about it. Wanted to make sure he was doing this right.

Then, we turned the shaver on. I had to flip open the hair trimmer because first he had to get rid of his longer peach fuzz. It was intimidating. I showed him by trimming hair on my arm. Then, I trimmed a swatch on his arm. We laughed, but he learned it didn’t hurt.

Then, my son, (that baby bear?), he held that shaver to his face and slowly, methodically he trimmed his sideburns and under his chin.

He looked down at me and nodded. “I got it mom.”

I just looked up at his eyes. My god, he did have it. The first day of kindergarten flashed in my head. He was walking into that classroom, into the world, without me. I nodded silently back. There was a lump in my throat.

“Yes, you do have it!”

“Yah, I do mom. I got it. It’s okay.” He nodded down at me. Gently telling me I was excused from the situation. Permanently. Lovingly.

“Okay, babe. Have fun!” Maybe I lingered at the door just a moment too long.

I walked out of his bathroom, down the hall, and I cried.

Oh… this mommy job is hard stuff.